Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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