Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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