'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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