alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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