3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize