hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm like, not good at living.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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