I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My cat gives me a boner
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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