He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
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He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
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I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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