If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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