Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize