New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize