I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
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MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
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He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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