Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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