i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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