I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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