I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize