Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just lost a toe
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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