he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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