I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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