Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize