when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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