Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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