This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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