May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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