Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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