im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
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just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
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pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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