Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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