It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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