she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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