They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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