it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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