It's Friday. Sex?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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