Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize