the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize