Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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