Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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