My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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