U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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