True but thats because hes a fetus.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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