so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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