I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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