we're blogging at a bar
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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