I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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