me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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