ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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