you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
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It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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