You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
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By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize