Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
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She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
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Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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