Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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