so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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