He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
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so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
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Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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