i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
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Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
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While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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